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Nazi Germany invades Equestria
4 October Adolf Hitler is looking through an MLP book that the God of the thunder placed in his hands. He's flipping through it, looking displeased. Finally, after about two hours, one of his military generals comes to see him at his desk. “What's that?” he asks. “It's a message from God. It tells me of a place called ‘Ekustra’ or something. It looks rich and plentiful,” replies Hitler. “Is there any information about the land?” asks the general. “It's inhabited by these little talking horses. They look stupid and come in a variety of colors.” “Did God give you this, or did a six-year-old child? It sounds like a small child’s book.” “How dare you question my maturity! I am certain God gave me this!” “What are the inhabitants like?” “I know not about their culture, but they look Jewish. Let's invade them!” 16 October The army is mobilized atop a hill. Hitler walks to the front and holds the book up to the sky. “O great and powerful God, take me to horse land!” Five seconds later, nothing happens and the army is laughing, but trying to keep it in. They dared not laugh at Hitler. Hitler, about to try again, and suddenly noticed that the terrain around him had changed. He rubs his hands in glee, and marches his army off to the nearest city. Once inside the city, he matches to the city center, where there stands the city hall. He ignores and and keeps going to the purple castle and the end of the road. He whispers to a general that the architecture is distinctly Jewish. His general just nods. He dare not contradict him. A general marches up the steps and pounds on the door. A small purple dragon answers the door, but promptly closes it. “Twilight!” he yells, “There's something you should see!” “Coming…” says Twilight. She magically opens the door and sees the army outside. “What's going on?” she asks. Hitler barges in and holds a gun down at Twilight’s face. The front line of the army odd their rifles and points them, ready to fire. Twilight is shocked. A couple dozen soldiers march up the stairs with a birdcage. Twilight says to Hitler, “What… there is no need for that yet; can't we solve this without any violence?” “Will you bargain on behalf of your entire country?” “What!?” “Will you, or will you not? Either way, we are taking you prisoner.” “What… is going on?” “I asked a question!” “I'm sure something can be arranged…” “Good, because if not, you will feel the wrath of the Third Reich!” Twilight remains silent. The soldiers from upstairs come down with Spike in the birdcage, struggling and kicking and punching. Twilight looks over. “Spike!” she exclaims. “Are you going to negotiate, or not?” demands Hitler. Two soldiers surround Twilight and point their guns at her. Twilight knows this won't be a fair fight… Hitler is seated across the table bearing the Friendship Map from Twilight. “What do you want?” asks Twilight. “Preferably a full surrender with no blood shed.” End of Scenario 1: Twilight surrenders Equestria to Nazi Germany, with the reluctant approval of Pr. Celestia and Pr. Luna. A full scale war would be deadly and costly, and Celestia would rather not put civilians in harm’s way. Casualties: 0 Category:Ideas Category:Invasions Category:Puns, quips, jokes Category:Pages without images